Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Thursday 13 v. 26

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Thirteen Fun Stories from my Vegas Trip
(Photos in post below)
  1. We went dancing at the Tao nightclub, where we were surrounded by Asians wearing slutty clothes. We were WAY overdressed. Then, the Asian version of Mini-Me (seriously, I'm 5'2'' and he maybe came up to my shoulders) tried to grind all up in our business. Um. Bye-Bye. Why do men do that? I don't know you. Don't grind up on me. Even if I DO know you.
  2. We played lots of penny slots. Mostly Star Wars penny slots. Irish and I hit the Death Star Bonus at exactly the same time - THREE TIMES! Spooky :)
  3. We also played single-deck blackjack on Fremont Street. Irish, me, and the dealer all hit blackjack on the SAME HAND. Spooky indeed. We managed to last a couple of hours on $50 ($5 a hand)
  4. We ate dinner on Friday night at a new restaurant called Stack. David Spade was there. A) He is not an attractive man. B) There is no B. (Seriously, he dates Heather Locklear? WTF?)
  5. Our other bad celebrity sighting was Carrot Top, who we walked behind in the Luxor (where he has a show). Also with a pretty girl. Huh? Carrot Top = not attractive.
  6. We had dinner Saturday night at the House of Blues. Where we inadvertently became part of a wedding (our table was right behind the "preacher"). In the restaurant at the HOB. ????? It was a TESLA wedding. You see, the bride (wearing a lovely pink knit shawl) and groom (wearing a sporty t-shirt) met on the Tesla chat room, then they met face-to-face at a Tesla concert, and then got married at the HOB where Tesla was playing. The guests were a sight to see, let me just say, all wearing Tesla duds. The "preacher" had a belt buckle bigger than my head. The menu was on HOB stationary. Classy stuff. To each his own. Oh, and they took a picture of the wedding rings on their hands over a bowl of nachos.
  7. Our flight out was terrible! A screaming toddler for 5 hours and monster turbulance (heat from the desert floor). You'd think after 5 hours the kid would wear out. Nope. I wanted to smack the parents. CHILDREN's TYLENOL people. Knocks 'em right out. Then the pilot came on the intercom and said we didn't need the roller coaster at NY NY, we had bumpy flying ahead. NO KIDDING!
  8. I had gay-dar training while in Vegas. Good place to start. See, I have no gay-dar. Irish had to give me instructions. I passed the Vegas test, but the real-life test is yet to come.
  9. The "List" police at Tao nightclub didn't have us on the list. I told him that the hotel had put us on the list since we were staying there. Then I said "I can give you my room key", to which he replied laughingly "that's the easiest score I've had all night." **Blushes** That's not what I meant, but he was DEFINITELY room-key material.
  10. Irish gets VERY upset about slutty people when she has had a whole martini and part of mine. Do NOT dress slutty around her folks. ;)
  11. We sat in the "chair pool" at the Venetian listening to this group of 21-year-olds whining. This one girl had met a guy in Vegas and was asking her friends and the whole pool why he hadn't texted her in a whole day and should she text him because she wanted to go out with him the next night. I'm like. Dude. You're 21. You're a hot chick. You met him in Vegas, like that'll last. Try being 30-something and not a hot 21-year-old. Quit your whining. BRING ME ANOTHER DRINK! (And P.S. I don't get the texting thing. I hate texting. Get your lazy butt on the phone.)
  12. It is impossible to sneak up on the guards at Area 51. They can see your trail of dust for miles. Who gets the job of sitting in the truck on the hill and watching morons drive out to take a photo of a sign? Whose wife do you have to sleep with to get that gig?
  13. The cows around area 51 like to come onto the road (it's an open range) to poop. There were cow piles everywhere on the road. Irish was in charge of pointing out each and every one of them so I didn't drive our piece of crap rental car through them. In case you missed South Park, the aliens think that cows are the only intelligent life on earth. Moo!
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    84 comments:

    Chi said...

    I just love your sense of humor, Carmen!! And, it sounds like your trip to Vegas was fun...and filled with adventure!

    anthony said...

    At a real Tesla wedding, the bride and groom put their hands on that sparky-globe thing and their hair stands on end before they say "I do." While listening to thrash-metal, of course!

    Sounds like you had a great time (except for the Screaming Baby Flight - no extra charge).

    I'm not sure what the deal is with Spade and Carrot Top and their babes. I guess it's a celebrity thing? Although I think walking behind Carrot Top is the correct choice (my gay-dar works).

    amy said...

    sounds like you had a great time! your slideshow is awesome!

    have a great weekend!

    Melli said...

    LOL! Were all the freaky gambling things happening before or AFTER visiting area 51??? Hmm? Just wondering!

    Tug said...

    Mine's up too! Did I mention that Vegas was my favorite place to live EVER? 10 years...LOVED.IT.

    Janet (fondofsnape@gmail.com) said...

    Obviously Spade & Carrot must have big d!cks!

    Irish Church Lady :) said...

    Very enlightening. I feel smarter. :)

    Renee said...

    Wow! I've never seen ANYONE who's famous in Vegas... just that really tall skinny red headed comic that I don't even know his name. You know he was a nobody 'cuz we saw him at the Maxim buffet (I'm pretty sure they tore down the Maxim years ago!)

    Anyway, we've never gone to Area 51...I guess since DH has been in there he doesn't care to see the outside of it.

    -R- said...

    What the heck is Tessla? I am scared that there was a wedding in the HOB restaurant.

    Candy Minx said...

    Hi ya Carmen, fun way to follow your adventures...I have been to Area 51 too. Isn't it a great drive though? And hilarius about all the dust and the suv on top of the hilll. I was making a documentary at the time, and my boyfriend was totally intimidated by the road, the signs, the surveilence...he thought they would confiscate my camera. I am an army brat so I din't even wory about it.

    did you see any aircraft? i did lots of F15s.

    Here is my TT...

    http://gnosticminx.blogspot.com/2006/09/13-aspects-of-paragraph.html

    DS said...

    SEROUSLY! how come there are so many midgets in vegas....I was there a few months back and I saw 2 midgets...sorry little people getting funky on the dance floor

    ...my 2 cents said...

    Interesting stuff! The flight out sounds awful!

    Glad you had a fun trip!! Have a great Thursday!

    Red said...

    Sounds like you had a great time, apart from the bumpy, child-crying-filled flight. But then, I would expect nothing less that all-out fun from you and Irish!

    Louise said...

    Great trip.

    I want to go to Vegas, my gaydar works pretty well and bet it would have a busy time.

    And how slutty is the slutty that Irish can't stand?

    MommyBa said...

    It's good that you had a great time! :)

    Happy Thursday and thanks for sharing your details about your Las Vegas trip with us :)

    Kathy said...

    Sounds like fun.
    I won my first trip to Las Vegas! I've been back twice since.
    Happy TT.
    My first since deleting my blog (oh no!) is up too.

    Knitting Maniac said...

    Ooooo.... it sounds like a BLAST!!!! I SOOOO want to go to Vegas, and now you have me intrigued!

    Tink said...

    I'd love to visit Las Vegas. Your pics are great!
    My TT is about birthday facts this week.

    Tink said...

    Sorry, I took the wrong name in the Linky thing (Ron van Leeuwen); that should be Tink.

    Lily said...

    Haha, that's a hilarious list. I couldn't stop grinning at #9.

    Diane said...

    Sound really fun. Will go there if my unknown multi-millionaire uncle dies. Hehe, you know what I mean. :)

    Norma said...

    Great list. Loved the advice for the 21 yo, but you know they won't take it.

    Thanks for visiting my TT.

    Aginoth said...

    Sounds like a fun trip

    my TT is up too

    http://aginoth.blogspot.com

    Lazy Daisy said...

    Girl, I still say you should do stand-up, You've have to be way better than Carrot Top!

    Zeus said...

    My human pet always seems to be sat next to people flying with children. She thinks it is God's way of telling her she has patience deep inside.

    I always suspected David Spade wasn't even all that and a bag of chips. Your confirmation of that made my day. Now if only someone could tell poor Ms. Locklear.

    Sounds like you're a wicked blackjack player as well! I had no idea!

    Happy Thursday to you, Miss Carmen! ;)

    Jane said...

    I'm with you on the David Spade...euwww!
    I guess celebrities just don't care who they date.
    Sounds like you had a very interesting trip......what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...huh????? LOL
    Thanks for stopping by my list.

    Pass The Torch said...

    Hahaha - sounds like a unique trip! I'm not sure Vegas is for me;)

    Thanks for stopping by my TT!
    Home of Pass the Torch Tuesday

    Chaotic Mom said...

    Oh, my goodness! Sounds like you had a BLAST! Makes me wish I was out having fun, too. ;)

    Karen said...

    david spade & carrot top??? could that have been much worse? nothing more annoying than 20-something whining. ya just wanna smack em.

    Lisa said...

    You. are. HILARIOUS!! I love this list. Had me chuckling through the whole thing and wishing I had been there!

    Will you take me next time??

    Thanks for bopping by Snarkypants and have a great Thursday!

    Darla said...

    Sounds like a great trip, even with the bad celebrity sightings. Love the Area 51 details. I'm still giggling.

    Nancy said...

    I thought of you several times. I am so glad you had fun.

    Tesla wedding? Huh?

    colleen said...

    That was fun! and you used the word Blue in it. Now I have to figure out what Tesla and gay-dar are!

    LadyBugCrossing said...

    Sounds like a really fun trip!!
    Next time I wanna go, too, k?
    LBC

    Barb said...

    Sounds like you had a great trip to Vegas.
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Bone said...

    OK, #1 has me laughing out loud at work this morning. I haven't even read the rest of them yet. OK, back to the list...

    Bone said...

    Carrot Top is the single best evidence we have that there is life on other planets. In my opinion :)

    These were great, Carmen. Hilarious! And, I think I'm going to apply for a job at area51.com right now.

    Mrs. Fun said...

    But have you seen carrot tops body?

    my favorite slots are the wheel of fortune penny. so much fun.

    And i am flying with a toddler tomorrow, i am so scared everyone on that plane is going to want to kill me when its over.

    tess said...

    sounds like you had a great time. and did you post the pic of the Area 51 sign yet?

    mar said...

    I love your sense of humor and how you shared your trip with us! it sounds like a fun trip, I just wish you had had a quieter flight out...hate it when it is "bumpy" and someone is crying non stop... Hey, I knew I liked you but now I have another reason: I am 5'2 too - small is beautiful :D
    Happy TT

    Dane Bramage said...

    Luckily what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas!

    Great list! My T13 #10 is up. It is my Favorite Games Edition!

    InterstellarLass said...

    Your trip to Vegas sounds like fun! And why people think they need to dress slutty I'll never know.

    Froggie Mama said...

    YAY!! A whole T13 dedicated to your trip! I love it! (and makes me get excited going!!) You're so crazy, girl! I laughed outloud numerous times reading this one!! :) Are you sure you don't want to go back to Vegas in 9 more days???? hehee

    And you can let Irish know that I *WILL NOT* be wearing any slutty clothes on my trip! :)

    Ocean Lady said...

    Carmen you are too funny! I can see your pictures as I'm posting this comment and saw your pretty toenails, pretty pictures, and cool alien highway and stuff! Sounds like a blast!

    Rowan said...

    What a fun 13.

    OK, for starters. What is Tesla? Is this a rock band, or something?

    David Spade dates Heather Locklear?!? I'll never sleep again.

    My daughter has a paradoxical (opposite) reaction to benadryl. It makes her hyper as all get out. We, unfortunately, discovered this on a 7 hour flight. I appologise to you, because I don't know how to find all the people who were on that plane. Really, it was mortifying.

    And lastly, I live in open range land. It stinks (literally). My husband has had to call in to work because he couldn't get around a herd of cows in the road. Fun stuff!

    Thanks for the good read. I'll be back.

    Lisa said...

    Sounds like a great trip (minus the turbulence) Can I go with next time?

    Thanks for stopping by my 13!

    Ghost said...

    I am with you on the texting thing. It seems like such a waste of time to sit and have a conversation with someone that way. (Unless of course you sound like Gilbert Godfrey.) ;)

    Great List and Have a Happy!

    Tinker said...

    i want to go to vegas! it is on my list of places to go before i go....if you know what i mean!

    Kukka-Maria said...

    *CHORTLE* "Oh, and they took a picture of the wedding rings on their hands over a bowl of nachos..."

    I am still snorting Crystal Light out of my nose on that one! Classic! I am sure Tesla was proud.

    Luck o' the Irish said...

    I feel I must comment :o)

    - We were not slutty enough for Tao. We could have been naked, and that would not have been slutty enough for Tao.
    - There was a pimp and ho party that weekend in Vegas, as revealed by the cabbie when I was drunk. It was like a total revelation! HAHA
    - Carrot Top...can I just say blah. Neck up...we all know what that looks like. Neck down. Well, he's ripped. But only in his torso, which is disproportionately tiny. And then there are chicken legs.
    - And the Tesla nachos? What a waste of good nachos.

    In the spirit of an election sign in my neighborhood that says "Matt McBride...not a lawyer!", we have our own sign that says:

    "Carmen and Irish - not slutty enough!"

    TNChick said...

    Yeah, David Spade isn't to pretty. Same with Carrot Top.

    LOL at the Asian Mini Me....

    Nacho & Rings. ROFL

    wrigley said...

    looks like you had a blast! next time, please take me along.

    Cheysuli said...

    Vegas sounds like my kind of place. Some day I'll have to visit

    Lynn said...

    This sounds like a great trip, I would love to hit Vegas some time, and you've made it more appealing than ever, even with Spade, Carrot Top and a screaming toddler.
    You are hilarious!!!
    Happy TT!

    Mom Nancy said...

    Well, now I'm not sure I want to go to Vegas after all!

    Thanks for visiting my TT!

    Happy Mama to Three said...

    Too Funny. And I thought what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas. *laughs* Sounds like you had a great time.

    Cindi

    Shannon said...

    Yeah, I never understood how David Spade got anything but bad acne...

    But they say women like funny men...no wait a minute: he's not even funny. He's just a wise ass.

    Have a great Thursday!

    Goofy Girl said...

    Sounds like you had such an aweseom time!!! :)

    Chelle Y. said...

    I have never been to Vegas! I would love to go there someday! :)

    Southern Girl said...

    Glad you had fun! Though I think Vegas would probably be near the bottom of places I'd like to visit. Different stroke though, huh? ;)

    Thanks for visiting my TT!

    Faith said...

    I went to Vegas once! Didn't have a good time! Maybe--- I should have gone with you!!!!! ;D

    YellowRose said...

    David Spade is ....Ewwww!! Don't get it!

    My favorite part is the Area 51, I can just see you now, trying to sneak your way in to snap pictures!! LOL It would be something I'd do!! ;)

    Happy Thursday!

    Just Expressing Myself said...

    Sounds like quite the adventure.
    I would have loved to see the wedding.
    Take care,
    Frances

    BecK said...

    Wow sounds like you had some fun chick!
    I can't wait to go back to Vegas!!
    Later

    Sarah said...

    Fun! I am always disappointed when I see celebrities. For one thing, they are always much shorter than I thought. My boyfriend keeps trying to get me to Vegas but I prefer the beach.

    mominprogress said...

    Sounds like you had a great trip :)
    I'm jelous

    Natsthename said...

    Carrot Top was with a girl? I THOUGHT he was gay!!! LOL.

    Loved reading about your adventure, Carmen!

    Kailani said...

    Sorry to hear about your rough flight. Hope the one coming home is better. And I agree, what's up with David Spade?

    Jersey Girl said...

    I was just at Atlantic City...loved my Super Hot 7's penny slot machine I played awhile...as much as my 25cent slot..funny thing is, I'm usuing 2 bucks a spin on the pennies and 75 cents on the quarters! Weird twist..

    Margaret said...

    Penny slots! No fair! When I lived in NJ Atlantic City only had nickel machines and I hear they don't have them anymore. Sounds like y'all had a wonderful time. Great 13! -Margie

    laura said...

    great list of what hppened in vegas. i loved # 8 and 9 because I can relate. LOL
    thanks for visiting my tt this week.

    FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

    That was great. You sure had a grand time. That was nice of you to share it with us.
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Titanium said...

    I love Vegas! What a fun list. Brought back memories. :)

    Missi said...

    Wow, that sounded great!

    I want to go!!!!

    Happy TT!!
    Thanks for visiting!

    factor 10 said...

    SEE? You always get at least a couple of good stories when you go to Vegas.. Love the Tesla wedding! Oh, the baby? Yeah, crying because You didn't take me. Keep it in mind next time...

    Ruth said...

    I'd like to go to Vegas one of these days!! Thanks for stopping by my TT today!

    Christine said...

    #2 & #3 that WAS just spooky.

    #9 had me cracking up.

    And a Tesla wedding?!? I didn't even know that Tesla was still together let alone touring. And now they are bring happy lovers together. How romantic?

    You had way too much fun! Next time I want to come with. :)

    angela said...

    You are always doing something fun. Loved hearing about your trip. any more dates with your fried of a few weeks back? I haven't been here to see...inlaws, school starting, etc. Nothing good like your stuff:-)

    Mrs Lifecruiser said...

    Ha ha.. .while very fun reading, I'm not quite sure if I would have wanted to be on that trip. For once I don't envy you... *lol*

    Grinded up by a shortie, TESLA wedding over nachos, turbulence with creaming kid, slutty clothes.... hm, no thanks!

    Oh, maybe because of all the cow piles, that sure sounded nice, naturally and authentic ;-)

    Anonymous said...

    Sounds like you had a great time. Vegas is one of the places on my list of 'one day...'

    http://francesca_gray.blogs.com/pushing_an_elephant_up_th/

    Hails said...

    Dude, look at these comments! YOUR A STAR!!! You crack me up, your vegas trip sounds like a bag of memories!

    Wystful1 said...

    Just wondering about the "coinky dink" happenings in Lost Wages? -------did this happen AFTER area 51 and the cow flops?

    Jen said...

    #12 made me laugh out loud!

    I would like to go to Vegas, now that I'm a grownup. I went when I was 18, but I couldn't really do a lot of the stuff available then. Now there's more stuff for families, AND I'm old enough to play :-)

    I'm just now getting to my T13 comments, I'm a bad blogger this week. Thanks for commenting on Anya's birth story.

    Jenn said...

    reading all your stories makes me want to take a trip to Vegas myself.

    Do you know I've never been, even though it's only a days drive for me? Crazy I know!