Grrrr.

Ever wish you could just learn things the easy way sometimes, rather than the hard way?

Yesterday, I went for the first time to an accupuncturist. I've had back issues forever, and I get really bad migraines, and my Chinese family practitioner back in NoVa had told me several time to try accupuncture, so I finally overcame my fear of needles and went in.

The needles were the easy part. The rest was torture. She did this technique called "cupping", where she creats a vaccuum in this glass cup and puts it on my back to relive the pain. She told me, AFTER she had started this, that oh by the way you might get purple marks on your back. I look (and feel) like I've been beaten. It's horrible. She also burned some herbs on my back (yes, you read that right), and the smoke and smell alone gave me a headache while I was there. I had to tell her I was feeling nauseated, because I had needles in the back of my neck, and I didn't think getting sick would be a pleasant experience. My first task when I got home was to take ANOTHER shower to get the smell off.

I got zero sleep last night, I am so sore. Laying my head on my pillow was painful. And my back still hurt. And I'm out 70 bucks. And I'm so mad at myself that I could just give me a good smack.

And I just get so mad because all the gym stuff I do makes my back hurt more. But I can't stop - I can never stop - because then I gain all the weight back and my medical issues get worse. I will forever have to go to the gym 4 days a week, up to 2 hours a day. That's a depressing and daunting look at the future.

I am so not in a good mood today. I'm mad about everything. I'm mad about the stupid song stuck in my head. I'm mad that I hurt like hell. I'm mad that I had to decline an offer for a date because the guy bored the bejeebers out of me. I'm mad that I had a date with a guy I actually liked and now I have to either be patient and see if he asks me out again, or be "forward" and get in touch with him (I HATE that). I'm mad that it's cold. I'm mad that I got no sleep. I'm mad that it's Monday. I'm mad that it's been 2 months and I still can't get into my new office building due to all the red tape.

I don't mean to drag you down, but it's my blog and I'll vent if I want to.