Minneapolis, MN: The Empress Kukka-Maria has recently opened herself up to speculation by daring the tabloid press to out-scoop her (no litterbox double entendre intended) while she goes "out of town" for a week and takes a break from blogging.
The reason given by Kukka and her agent is for her "mysterious" disappearance for a week is I am going to be attending the Super-Sexy, Hyper-Talented Feline Convention in Minneapolis this week. As the sole presenter and only attendee (no other cats qualified), I am going to have my paws full with doing all the presenting and listening (also signing autographs for myself)!
As this particular tabloid writer couldn't sleep, she decided to delve deeper into the reasons for Kukka's departure. She felt it very odd that Kukka would be the only one at this convention, with no one to witness what was really going on. So the Scoopinator offers up the following photographic evidence.
Is Kukka-Marie secretly having BOTOX? This picture was "taken" hours after Kukka landed in Minneapolis, where Kukka checked in under the assumed name "Suzanne Somers" at a posh "resort" that doesn't show up on any searches at Hotels.com. Things that make this writer go hmmmm. She recently posted that she was extremely upset at the "mature" label given to her by Iams catfood. Could this be a way to "heal" from her attempts at youth?
Or, is it merely a "retreat' to DETOX? Kukka admits in her scoop challenge that "I was probably either too drunk or high on catnip to recall a thing!" Could her agent have held an intervention and involuntarily checked her into a top-notch facility. (Does Betty Ford have a branch in Minnesota?)The Scoopinator asks you to decide!
19 comments:
HAHAHA! That was GREAT!
This is just fantastic...loved the poll!! *s*
Hilarious. I love Kukka.
Carmen,
You may be onto something. But I gotta say, the obvious place for detox here in the "Land of 10,000 Treatment Centers" is Hazelden.
Minneapolis is quite near Hazledon, detox center to the stars (and our mommy's mommy wented there for seminars when she werked at a detox center, so we knows!). - Miles
I'm pleased to see that my scandal-detecting bone is finely attuned to the rest of blogland. Those curled paws and that exposed belly give it away: Kukka Marie is definitely on the sauce. Detox calling!
He, he, fun post. Loved the poll!
OMG! Those lips will haunt my dreams tonight!! :)
Get the kitty away from the glass of wine. Don't you know how hard the stain will be to get out of the carpeting? Cats should only drink white wine and scotch. Sheesh! :)
Hahahah too cute!
oh carmen - you're gonna win for sure!!
Ohhhhhhh my! I wish I could have gone WITH her! I'm sure she's just hookin' up and hangin' out! You KNOW she doesn't need BOTox! And what's an eeency weeency little drinky poo and a dab of the nip from time to time... really! I doooooo wonder about the part of being the ONLY cat to qualify though... I would understand that she would be TOP CAT! But what happend to #2? And #3??? Hmmmmmm....
I don't think Kukka needs botox and do you really think she'll detox? Me and Chey gots scoops too!
How fun is this. I think she should go, girl. Or, maybe she got too drunk/high on catnip and then got her lips done while her judgment was impaired.
I'm thinking Detox. Those pupils look dialated to me!
Everyone knows that red wine is good for you. I say . . . Kukka, you go girl!
Carmen, I think you Kukka scoop is a classic. Like, Gemini, I don't think she needs botox, though!
I'm going with Collagen injections. Look at those lips!!!!
Just sneaking onto a computer while at my "conference" in Minneapolis.
I love the poll...reminds me of a sophisticated Cosmo quiz!
Post a Comment