So I'm sure you're all wondering if he called.
The answer is yes. He called yesterday during his lunch break at work.
How did I react?
I had a panic attack. Full-blown, can't-breathe panic attack. This lasted for a good 7 hours. I even considered just giving up on this, because the feeling was so bad.
Why? I don't know. He called well within his boy-time limit. He called me from work. He called. Why wasn't I doing a jig around the room? Because I mentioned maybe making him dinner on Thursday, and he was a bit non-committal about it. But this was what I focused on.
What I SHOULD have done was be thankful to God that he called. I SHOULD have immediately felt better. It took a long time and a conversation with my best guy friend (who thought I was a bit hysterical I think) to feel better. I think I make the mistake of consulting everyone and trying to be something that I'm not and I'm just not going to do that anymore.
So keep the good thoughts going. Hope for me that dinner really happens (the last day he's off for a long stretch) We're both going to this group event (separately) on Wednesday, so pray for me that I know how to act around him.
And to keep my mind off of all this, I'm going to see the re-release of Dirty Dancing tonight.