Monday, August 28, 2006

Here's Your Sign

I'm not sure if my faithful blog readers are familiar with comedian Bill Engvall but his whole schtick is that stupid people should have to wear signs so the rest of us will be able to recognize them. For example, he tells a story of calling his wife to tell her that his plane had hit a deer. Her response? "Oh my gosh, were you in the air?" He says "Yep, Santa was makin' one last run. Here's your sign."

I felt like I needed to be giving out signs this weekend.

First, there was some bonus time with the HH (lifeguard of previous postings). I got off work early on Friday, so I went off to the pool for some sun. He came over and sat with me (for several hours) and we talked about my upcoming trip, his return home, etc. Saturday, I was back at the pool (along with that stupid Asian girl, who is neither little nor graceful nor attractive, IMHO, but whatever. He came back to sit with me, so thbbbbbt to her.) He wanted to take a photo of me for his "memory" of his trip. I'm sure he'll show his friends "here's the crazy American girl who asked me out." I stopped back by the pool around closing, on my way to get ice cream, and the HH came with me. (He'd never had a hot fudge sundae before. Perhaps living in Europe isn't all I'd imagined.) Then, Sunday, I was back at the pool, but didn't stay long. I got an email from him this morning, saying that I'd left when he was doing something else and didn't say goodbye. HA! He's hooked people. And leaving. Story of my life. He needs a sign that says "Get a Clue and some Plan A!"

And then in other randomness, I went to the Advance Auto Parts store after getting my "Vegas Toes" pedicure to buy something to remove tree sap from my window. The guy at the front was sold out of the product, but went into the back to get his supply and came out and WASHED THE WINDOW FOR ME! Wow. I asked him if he wanted to wash the whole car while he was there, and he said (and I quote) "Well, you're cute, but maybe not that cute. UNLESS you're a good dancer. Are you a good dancer?"

I was a bit concerned that perhaps he might have a fold-up stripper pole hidden, but it was daylight and flattering and so I played along. He needed a sign that said "Whoa cowboy!"

And then there was this guy in the pool who was wearing something resembling socks. In the pool. The HH says to me "I have joke, but I forget word." The word, my friends, was socks. :) His sign should've been "Don't wear socks"

So how was your weekend?

23 comments:

Anthony said...

My weekend wasn't NEARLY as interesting as yours. Although I did have a milk shake.
Saturday was spent working (and earning $), so I can perhaps return to Vegas myself.
Then, the supermarket (see blog).

Lesson learned: Don't go out in public in anything you wouldn't want to be seen in by a woman you are interested in.
As Larry David says, "I'm married, I can wear whatever I want" -- doesn't apply to single folks.

amy said...

you definitely had the more productive weekend. I went grocery shopping and did some various odds and ends around the house. sooo exciting!!

hope your week goes fabulously!!

Karen said...

ARE you a good dancer? sounds like you've had a good weekend Carmen... how is it labor day all ready? what happened to august? my weekend was probably ok, but I can't remember under the haze of antihistimines I'm in.

Chi said...

I'm sorry but I couldn't help laughing about this post...it was funny! *s*

Mama Duck said...

Ha ha ha. WHO wears socks in a pool??!!!

Luck o' the Irish said...

Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?

I tell ya, you could have had Plan A if you had checked to see how cold his lips were post-sundae.

Red said...

Well, aren't you flavour of the month with the boys in your neighbourhood, missy?!

Sounds like you had a great, busy weekend. It's still the weekend here in the UK (the last bank holiday of the year today). And what am I doing sitting at my computer? Well, the weather sucks, Husband is watching Minority Report (which I have no interest in, I don't do sci-fi) and I've already cleaned the house and scooped the neighbour's cat's poops from the garden. What else is there to do now but blog?!?

Dorothy said...

Wrote about my weekend over at my place. I'm envious. Hot fudge sundaes and a terrific date? Good for you.

Great Day said...

I spent all weekend with family and we also went out for ice cream. If I moved to Europe it wouldn't be that bad, because I'm not really an ice cream person.

I only eat it in the summer and only like twice!

Renee said...

Well my weekend was busy planning our Williamsburg trip. I think I've decided on the Days Inn Historic Dist hotel, the Southwest flight (why isn't there a direct flight to Norfolk???) and the Enterprise car. Now to plan our non Busch Gardens activities.
DD & I are cooking up bringing our own costumes to wear...but we could get asked questions if we look like the actors, huh? Maybe I'll skip bringing them and just make them for home.
I'm with Irish on the Plan A...

Yoshi said...

"fold up stripper pole" OMG I love it.

Your weekend sounded pretty eventful, unfortunately, mine was no where near as exciting, since I just now remembered that I worked on Saturday.

mar said...

My weekend wasn't nearly as exciting as yours, Carmen!!! Didn't allow myself to have some ice cream, nobody called me cute, and nobody noticed whether I left without saying good bye or not!!

Bone said...

Wow, I like the line of the guy at the auto parts store. I'm adding that to my sparse repetoire.

LadyBugCrossing said...

Well - nobody washed my car windows. Nobody called me cute. I didn't go out on a date, but Mr. Bug did get a gift certificate so at least we can think about planning a date. :-)

Have a good day!
LBC

Janet said...

Not as much fun as yours!!!

Katherine said...

Oh I like that comic - I see him all the time on tv with Jeff Foxworthy and the other rednecks in the crew. Well, you definitely piqued HH's interest - way to go!

Goofy Girl said...

Sounds like the HH is fond of you! ;)

My weekend : lost keys & pink eye! Next weekend will be better!

Karizma said...

My weekend was not nearly as interesting as yours. Glad ya had a good time!

However, I'd like to point out that Plan A seems much better than "Plan B" ;-) Ha ha.

Froggie Mama said...

Yes, I'm from REDNECK-VILLE... of course I know about the "here's your sign." ha! :)

Irish cracked me up with the "milkshake bringing all of the boys to the yard" comment!! LMAO
I'm glad HH is fond of you, but sucks that he's leaving. :( You could always be pen-pals right! ha! :)

Can you dance?? Who asks that and why does that matter?? ha! Yup, thinking the same thing about the pole! Hmmm...

Are you packed for Vegas yet?? :)

PixiePincessMom said...

Love Bill Engvall! He's a hoot. Sounds like a pretty good weekend. Can't imagine never having experienced a hot fudge sundae. If I don't make it back, I hope you have a great trip to Vegas.

Lazy Daisy said...

Girlfriend, you could do stand-up. I'm sure Last Comic Standing will be auditioning soon.

Love the "flavor of the month" comment. Enjoy the attention...you so deserve it!

Melli said...

I LOVE Bill Engvall! The whole Blue Collar comedy team... LOL! So when DOES HH leave? Are you going to have ANY more chances for Plan A with this guy? If not... find some more tree sap!

And have FUN in Vegas!!!

One Scrappy Gal said...

I love when Bill Engvall talks about how his son was playing piano and when his father asked him what piece he was playing, he said it was from Harry Potter. Bill looks at him surprised and said "the movie?" The son says "no...the book dad...here's your sign." :)

And as for being surrounded by idiots...story of my life. :)